I ain't standin' up for nothin'.

As I lie in bed after a good day gone bad, I am forced to consider the meaning of moral actions. I can safely say that Buddhism is worth shit, because there is no such thing as karma. I can also say that Christ must dead, because his mission is failing miserably. When did it become the goal of many Christians surrounding me to make someone's life hell? Perhaps it is a subconscious thing, or maybe they all got together and decided on the matter. As of late, I have seen no reward for good moral conduct. I also understand that moral actions for the sake of reward are in essence fake. However, sound ethical conduct does have consequences without hope for reward. The consequences as of late, are not good ones. I am punished for the good things that I do. Yet if I didn't do these things, the outcomes would still be the same. Honesty is a big thing for me. I pride myself in being honest, and if you actually read this then you must obviously know my use of this truthfulness. Perhaps I am wrong, but isn't a core value of Christianity supposed to be helping and caring for others? I do not believe that gossip and slander are including in the required action booklet. However, they have found their way into the high school that is Campbell University. I am a hated man. I am a disliked man. I am a rumored man. What have I done to deserve this? The answer is nothing. I am completely confident in stating that. What have the Campbell Christians done to cause this? That answer is everything. There can be no more hypocritical of a place than my academic institution. Don't throw the "everyone isn't perfect all the time" card in the game either. One is always in control of his/her actions. Always. There is a choice to make. I know of many people that have recently made the wrong choice. Heed my words with warning if you fall into this category: I will not do anything at all. Did you think I would say something along the lines of "I will come for you and beat your ass in?" Without the maturity I have gained in the past year, that would've been my response. However, I have a choice. I choose to withdraw from the society that beats me down. My hate does not flourish under my circumstances. The only thing that grows in me now is fear. I am scared to walk out of my front door, for fear of my heartache and pain. I do not know who has done this to me, but they did it well. I am not a very fearful person. However, the fact that an anonymous person who does not know me at all can ruin a newfound happiness and excitement of which I have never felt before, scares me. You will not see me around. I will attend my classes, and I will come home. I will continue my sojourn through life being hated and alone because of you people. I will not know love again for quite some time, because of the sheer lack of love from others. I hope that the happiness I felt for a short time is now felt by you, oh antagonist, because you won. You beat me. My heart is weak and tired from you. Oh you, follower of Christ, have broken me. Are you satisfied? Are you surely now in the presence of God? Are you loved and cherished now for your actions? Are you revered by yourself for the destruction of someone else? I hope you are, so that someone will gain something other than pain from this. I hope your life is without worry or pain. I hope that your find yourself fulfilled. I hope that through sacfricing me, you can find peace that is unending. I hope your ministry flourishes as it does now. I have left this sarcasm and bitterness behind. I am sincere and literal. I hope you carry happiness with you for the rest of your days.

Goodbye.